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Sunday, Sept. 19, 2004
6:51 pm
if you're actually gonna bother to read this.. start from the previous entry. hahah.

halos. haha feeling better now. haha dont think i was really depressed.. just like. sad? sad for all the stupid things in the world. i dunno la. haha its hard to sort out.. its like..is my life reallyy that great? is that even possible? how is it that like i dont reallyy sink into depression alot, or at least i dont think so? and like. i dunno, compared to others..my life seems really good i guess. but why? is it really? if it is.. what did i do to deserve this?? i mean like, i'm not exactly the greatest person on earth. but what if my life is actually full of problems and stuff. is it like, good tat i'm not bothered? or like, is it not good.. is it possible to be too happy? cos like..we're not supposed to be too comfortable living on earth right? blehs i dunno. i dont know la.

hm you know yesterday i said smth like how it was hard being happy all the time or smth like that? well i just realised i shld like rely on God? cos i cant do it on my own strength.. but with God, i can do the impossible! haha(: yeah.. i dunno. maybe i'm like getting too proud or something. i dunno. haha. today during camp comm meeting yado asked us what made us happy. haha pub comm is all mg girls so we all went "being in mg!" haha retarded right. haha yeah. but anyway. hmm what does make me happy? God, music, friends, helping others. hm. there are quite few things that i really love.. whats that, like 4 things? haha. feel like quitting softball somehow. haha. i dont like, love it. like i'm not really willing to put in loads and loads of my time.. i'd rather like.. play guitar or something. yeah i can sit there playing guitar for a few hours. really, i've done it before. hahah. haha anyway.

anyway, i think last night i was so sad because.. i dunno why. its like, i suddenly kinda realised how..sad the world is. like, why is there so much depression? why do i seem to be so..lucky? it doesnt seem fair. i mean, who am i? i dont deserve anything. and then its like.. we had missions trg and we watched this video la. and i suddenly felt so sad cos like there are really alot of unreached people. like people who have never even had the chance to accept Christ.. there are like 1.6 billion unreached people out of 6 billion. and the song was going like "laughter hides their sorrows..people need the Lord".. its like the pictures show them all laughing and stuff.. but like you look at their eyes.. you can see hurt, sorrow, suffering, pain.. and it just seems so unfair cos like they just never had the chance to know Jesus. "the harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field" yeah its like.. i dunno la. just suddenly like felt so sad, and its like there are people to whom the Gospel is freely available.. and yet they choose not to believe.. and well thats sad too. i dunno, maybe thats why i like missions so much. haha. today's country was thailand.. cos its mission month.. yeah ooh uncle henry came.. but anyway. they screened a presentation thingy.. and i was just smiling when i saw all the kids' smiling faces.. and saw how much the church had grown and continued to grow since we were there.. and i guess it was cool too, like to be the first youth team sent there.. but yeah the kids are so sweet. heehee. its just..nice la. 60 out of 90 people said they wanted to know more about Christ when we were doing the daycamp thingy.. so..cool. haha.

off to dinner.. bbl.

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Benevolent Artist

Hello. I'm with a global enterprise. We have branches in every country in the world. We have representatives in nearly every parliament and boardroom on earth. We're into motivation and behaviour alteration. We run hospitals, feeding stations, crisis-pregnancy centres, universities, publishing houses, and nursing homes. We care for our clients from birth to death. We are into life insurance and fire insurance. We perform spiritual heart transplants. Our original Organizer owns all the real estate on earth plus an assortment of galaxies and constellations. He knows everything and lives everywhere. Our product is free for the asking. (There's not enough money to buy it.) Our CEO was born in a hick town, worked as a carpenter, didn't own a home, was misunderstood by his family and hated by his enemies, walked on water, was condemned to death without a trial, and arose from the dead. I talk with him every day.

I AM A PART OF THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE UNASHAMED. I HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT POWER. THE DIE HAS BEEN CAST. I HAVE STEPPED OVER THE LINE. THE DECISION HAS BEEN MADE. I AM A DISCIPLE OF JESUS CHRIST. I WON'T GO BACK, LET UP, SLOW DOWN, BACK AWAY OR BE STILL.

MY PAST IS REDEEMED, MY PRESENT MAKES SENSE, MY FUTURE IS SECURE. I AM FINISHED AND DONE WITH LOW LIVING, SIGHT WALKING, SMALL PLANNING ,SMOOTH KNEES, COLOURLESS DREAMS, TAMED VISIONS, MUNDANE TALKING, CHEAP GIVING AND DWARFED GOALS.

I NO LONGER NEED PREEMINENCE, PROSPERITY, POSITION, PROMOTIONS, PLAUDITS OR POPULARITY. I DON'T HAVE TO BE RIGHT, FIRST, TOPS, RECOGNISED, PRAISED, REGARDED OR REWARDED. I NOW LIVE BY FAITH, LEAN ON HIS PRESENCE, LOVE WITH PATIENCE, LIFT BY PRAYER AND LABOUR WITH POWER.

MY FACE IS SET, MY GAIT IS FAST, MY GOAL IS HEAVEN, MY ROAD IS NARROW, MY WAY IS ROUGH, MY COMPANIONS FEW, MY GUIDE IS RELIABLE AND MY MISSION CLEAR.

I CANNOT BE BOUGHT, COMPROMISED, DETERRED, LURED AWAY, TURNED BACK, DELUDED OR DELAYED. I WILL NOT FLINCH IN THE FACE OF SACRIFICE, HESITATE IN THE PRESENCE OF ADVERSITY, NEGOTIATE AT THE TABLE OF THE ENEMY, PONDER AT THE POOL OF POPULARITY OR MEANDER IN THE MAZE OF MEDIOCRITY.

I WON'T GIVE UP, BACK UP, LET UP OR SHUT UP UNTIL I'VE PREACHED UP, PRAYED UP, PAID UP, STORED UP AND STAYED UP FOR THE CAUSE OF CHRIST. I AM A DISCIPLE OF JESUS CHRIST. I MUST GO UNTIL HE RETURNS, GIVE UNTIL I DROP, PREACH UNTIL ALL KNOW AND WORK UNTIL HE STOPS ME.

AND WHEN HE COMES TO GET HIS OWN, HE WILL HAVE NO PROBLEM RECOGNISING ME. MY COLOURS WILL BE CLEAR FOR "I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THE GOSPEL, BECAUSE IT IS THE POWER OF GOD FOR THE SALVATION OF EVERYONE WHO BELIEVES." (Romans 1:16)